I have organic, fair trade orange soda, tiramasu Italian waffle sticks, a big comfy bed with big comfy pillows and big comfy blankets, new ear candy, endless movies, this sweatshirt, camel crushes and I have all of this to myself. <3
I like today.
Maybe, a little out there
Boxes stacked on top of boxes in the attic, gathering dust. I'm not someone sought after, my mind is up for the taking. I believe in the summer and the underdog, I'm full of surprises. When I breath it's like neon light for the masses of people out there. But I fumble around in the dark feeling for light and end up with a busted lip,I feel discouraged today. You're a raging forrest fire. I'm cold water splashed with self-denial. I'm running and running but my feet are stuck in cement, why? I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've lost this fucking "game". Choose choose choose. Choose kids you hated in school, choose the awkward, choose God. Choose to be an actor, choose to go each day based off of a whim, choose to make a lot of money. For God sakes just choose something! There's all these roads that will lead you anywhere if you're just as lost as I am. No one notices them, and no one notices the things they wish they had done.
Gosh, where do I begin?
Constantly
Counting 1,
2,
3,
4 . . .
The number of friends lost and found, missing homework, homework turned in, re-runs of serial killer documentaries, how many cups line my desk, back stabbing and shit talking, key strokes, brush strokes, pieces of thread, characters, tissues; I'm keeping track of them all, almost on my tongue. They burn, the clock tolls; pillow talk. Each is un-important in their nature but they've kept me in line.
I solemnly swear
I won't ever know why I am the way I am, why I meet the people I do, why my dog chews on only my shoes.
Never say never? Jesus Christ, I'm singing it. If "never" didn't exist, where's the wonder in things? Where's the beauty? Because I'll tell you if you go out for answers to everything, your vision is all too clear, apathetic; jaded.
And I've said it before but I'll say it again, we should all know there are things in this world that no one will ever be able to explain. Things meant for the deep dark un-known.
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