Finally, finally

I could not have said it better myself;

"It’s one of those deathcabforcutie play all coffee cigarettes clean make to do list kind of day. I just cannot bring myself to rid my life of my Sundays.

I’ve decided to take a break from my normal self. Let go of my heart. I’ve encountered so much heartbreak within the past year. Not even really with myself but with those I hold very close to my heart. We’re all so young, we’re doomed to be ripped apart a thousand times to really get to whats underneath it all. I’ve realized that I search so hard for something that if I had it — I can’t say with complete honesty that I’d know what to do with it.

I’ve noticed that the words “…I need to” or “I want to…” (fill in the blank with something I wish I could do) leave my mouth quite often. Thing’s I could do if I only directed more of my energy into that direction. Activities so small as really learning how to successfully use chopsticks. I look at the things that other people create and just wish I had that talent, that drive to do those same things — I am capable of doing them. I’d like to drink more tea, learn how to play the guitar, paint, devote so much more energy into studying. Plan my future endeavors and stick to them.

I get this way every now and again, and rarely stick to what I say — a quality I more than dislike about myself. I am beginning to understand that the only reason I am the way that I am is because I chose to be this way. I ultimately am the only person who can control those qualities I wish I had within myself. I have them, it’s just a matter of finding them. I need to solely make myself happy so I lose that need to find happiness for myself within others."

- Credit to Ida Delic.

My life has exponentially gotten better within the last, hour I want to say. Maybe two. I got the call that pulled me back from my distant daze. I have the person who has always meant so much to me back and I can't wait to start spending every day I have available with her. I can't express how sorry I am for being so stubborn and simply ridiculous. I'm more than thankful to be able to pick up where we left off and continue on from there.

i feel infinite